Chief Quango...

He's big, he's bad, he scares the living daylights out of most people. When he comes down the hall, the atmosphere changes, the senses become more alert... is he going to call me down to his office; am I going to get an HR notice... everyone fears what might happen next, when the Chief is on the prowl.

My first experience with the Chief was at an introductory meeting my first week of work. (I thought it was going to be a welcome meeting i.e. you're a valued new member of staff). My overall expectation was to get a strategic overview of the organisation, its priorities, etc. So, myself and a collegue make our way down the long corrider to the larger, poshish office in the building. We arrive exactly on time, go in and have a seat. The Chief begins by asking us what our background is. Then he asks have we read, and are we knowledgeable of, a policy document from the 1980's which sets the context of why the organisation exists. BLANK stares... I look to my colleague (at least she had heard of the document!), whereas I had never heard of the document - EVER. We were honest and said no, we hadn't read the document. For flip sake, surely if the Chief was going to drill us on a 30 year old document someone would have given us a heads up! Needless to say, the Chief wasn't impressed. He created an atmosphere of shock and urgency... then he asks how our work will correlate with the Corporate Strategy of the organisation. Flip (again), it was my third day working in the place! I wasn't event 100% sure what my job was exactly. He demanded that we get our hands on a copy of the 1980's document and the Strategy, read it, and report back to him the following day!

So like a headless chicken, the two of us fluttered around the building trying to find the two documents that were required. No one in the building (over 50 staff) had the 80's document although most had heard of it, and even the Strategy was a bit of an effort to track down. A couple of hours later we had the documents in hand, and were bored out of our wits reading them. The next day we reported to the Chief for our pop quiz and.. he'd forgotten about the whole thing by the next day. Whew, talk about first impressions of the organisation you work for! Well, it's been about the same ever since!!!

This Quango City services a relatively large population - in simplistic terms... 'giving away' money, no interest, no pay back - great huh! Of course the 'clients' must use the money in an agreed way, to pursue agreed objectives, etc. Aren't people usually grateful for getting money to pursue their goals? In this Quango City, all those inspirational, appreciative people don't exist (such a shame!)! Where have they gone??!? The clients instead make their mark in life by being HUGE complainers, never happy with what they get, always wanting more, no appreciation whatsoever. Just grief and complaints. Okay, some of the complaints are substantiated, but still, come on people you're getting something for nothing.

So basically there's this huge black hole called a blame culture... the clients blame the quango for beaurocracy, adminstration requirements, short deadlines and lack of knowledge in their 'field'. The Quango blames the clients for limited performance, poor operations, lack of knowledge, etc, etc. Its kinda crazy. In terms of who is right and who is wrong, its like the chicken and egg debate (was that ever solved, lol)!

Here's what I think, firstly, organisations should lead by example. Start internally before making demands externally. Get your own house in order before creating chaos in the home of others. Isn't it kind of hilarious that we make demands on others that we can't fulfill ourselves...hmmm. That's what this Quango does (not always, but too many occasions); clients aren't stupid, they know they are getting a raw deal. They know they are asked to do things the Quango doesn't do itself! On the other hand, the clients, focus on problems, when they could be focusing on solutions. They work agaisnt rather than with, they become insular in their thinking and limit the potential impact thaty could have on society.

You'd think this Quango was run by women (i.e. random demands and heated flashes of irrational thinking!)! That was a joke by the way - women aren't EVER like that!

My boss is gorgeous - petite, slim, blonde, and very intelligent. She's a real character around the office. Everyone lusts after her (guys and gals) since she's smart, great communicatator, perfect hair and body. She pretends to be an airhead most of the time, but she's far from it. Suppose women are always pretending or putting on some act or another for the sake of society and the way its moulded our perceptions, of ourselves and the world. Her only downside is she has very strong split personalitiy tendancies. One side is 'I wanna be your best friend' which brings out her fun, friendly and best mates attitude with her staff. The other side of her is super scary, 'I'm the boss and do exactly what I say and don't give your opinion' which she lays down as the rule from day one. This is a new management style for me to experience, the best friend boss that puts the fear of god in you. (Usually, this 'fear of god' style is reserved for the CEO of the company!) I do fear the exact moment that she may turn on me and become the devil. But, her style seems to keep everyone in their place within the team, and we've all submitted to her dominatrix ways, in order to keep the fun, friendly side at the forefront.

She fascinates me with her office mannerisms and quirky behaviours. For instance, every morning (as a kinda ice breaker) she has her staff of 5 take turns and tell what they ate for dinner the night before. A little strange, but it works. (Also, the boss is food and calorie obsessive so its an icebreaker she really enjoys.) Participation, of course, is mandatory! Another rule she has, if anyone goes out at lunchtime and buys clothing, shoes or jewelry, its mandatory that they bring the items into the office to show her.

Her tricks to staying slim... firstly she eats healthy in general. A bowl of low-calorie cereal for breakfast and a cup or two of tea. A couple of days a week she skips lunch and goes shopping instead. Otherwise she has a low calorie lunch, like a chicken salad. She has a sweet tooth so she eats about a hand full of gummies throughout the day. She usually has a good, sizeable dinner like pasta, or chicken tortillas, etc. I'd say she definitely doesn't do late night snacking. For exercise, she power walks a couple time per week. She's stopped going to the gym as it makes her hungry and she ends up putting on weight rather than losing it. She's also sexually active which burns quite a bit of calories. I'm also obsessive about my weight, but I'm definitely jealous as she has managed to lose about half a stone and keep it off, probably a size 6. I know her diet techniques work, as I've done them before. And they're healthy. But I can't get the mental strength and willpower to do it at the minute. I definitely respect her ability to look great. Everyone views her as perfect, but like most women, she goes on and on about what she sees as a major flaw in her body. Why do women do this??? She constantly remarks about her chest size and one day (as one of the staff didn't believe she was small chested) she whips out her plastic chicken fillets from her bra, and says 'see, I have to wear chicken fillets!' Her body is perfect, chicken fillets or not. Why can't women just accept their bodies?!?!

I'm totally new to blogging and the purpose of my blog is to express my views, frustrations, challenges and experiences of working in a quango. I enjoy writing and maybe the blogs will help keep me sane whilst giving me an outlet for expression, particularly working in an environment where things are so hush hush. Also, writing is supposed to be healthy (i'm into healthy!) and perhaps it will also open up doors of new opportuntity. Who knows, but these blogs will focus on my perception of life working in a quango and should be of interest to someone out there anyways!

I started working for a quango nearly three years ago. It has been a huge shock and a huge challenge. Suppose with all jobs there are some extreme characters. One of the chief officers in this organisation is a real "mad hatter" so some good reading should be forthcoming of the various quirky people I work with. The most shocking experience for me, beginning work in a quango, was the rather bizare management practices and politics within the workplace. Not enough time to start today; hopefully I can get back to my site tomorrow to start my blogs (like I say, this is all new!).